What are you responding to?

My friend loaned me a washboard to play with. The Zing King, Lingerie washboard: “do not rub hard, the board will do the work,” is printed on the front. This is the best thing that’s happened to me in months. I guess I’ve always wanted to play a washboard. We are making songs about voting. I’ll share those later.

Winter can be a good time to dream up ideas. It’s a good brew time, fermentation time. I’ll bet mushrooms love the winter. I just watched Fantastic Fungus and I might pack my things and go move in with the mushrooms.

Before I head out, I’m gonna take the time to steep in the now.  The only job is being. To absorb and be absorbed. Flavors seep out and what is outward seeps in. And yet, when I am still, ideas come up.

I wonder if there is a cat, poetry, haiku, painting, acupuncture workshop somewhere? With kombucha on tap? You ever look for an event that isn’t out there? I have. They either don’t exist or I’m not invited, so now I make it happen by hosting and inviting people. It’s easier to just show up at something but if it’s not there at all, it’s harder to go without.

I signed up for a painting class.

What if I make horrible art?! I gave myself permission to make horrible art.

I squeezed out color, put the brush in and tried to apply paint with a combination of relaxed, bold, free, meditative, detached, engaged, non precious, low judgement, delighted, disinterested, vulnerable… realizing quickly, what a great way to be, even when not painting!

I think writers should paint and painters should write.

The question, “what are you responding to” came up? The instructor said, try to respond as you go. You respond and then respond to what you just responded to. It was like being asked to be in each moment and be aware that you can tap into what you are doing or just did. It can be a moment to moment series of responses.

I love this because it makes things alive. To be in the moment, doing art.

Soon, I have an idea, or a question that goes beyond painting. What are we responding to? What am I responding to? What are you responding to? And how is that response forming the shape of our experience? We need to choose what we respond to because if we respond to everything all the time, we lose our balance, our center. If we shut down responses, we lose our senses and connective fibers to make connections. We lose capacity for ideas and feelings.

At the second class things began to get ruined. Much worse, ugly and hideous. We were encouraged to not lose hope. You can layer and unlayer, add on, lift off, subtract, blend, blur, spray, scrape as long as you need to. If you’re not pleased, you can keep going. You can reign in the chaos, the instructor told us. She reminded us of the quote, “If you’re going through hell, keep going,” which I think was Winston Churchill.

I am inspired that we can live as art, we can be creative in our responses. We are not dried paint.