2021

In the end, we burned patriarchy. But, that’s not where things started. The following day I made vegetable soup like my mom made, and like her mom made. No reason to throw that ritual out. Besides, that’s matriarchy.

I was out of vegetable broth so had to go to Sundance Natural Foods and have the classic Sundance experience in the checkout line. “It’s really interesting to shear sheep!” said the man in front of me to everyone and no one.

Back to burning patriarchy in the fire. Three of us stood outside with handwritten notes of things we wanted to leave in 2020. Soon we got suggestions from texts and social media and our small ritual became bigger and with a community pulse of purpose. Sad, joyous, funny, intense, and real offerings passed through our hands, into the flames, and floated up into the night sky. After purging the negative, we burned the positive words, concepts, and healings into present time.

We also danced to disco played on our cell phones.

One item on the release request list was selfishness.

I’ve been thinking about this exact concept lately, as in what is being selfish and what is being caring of self? We hear a lot about self care, but I think we still don’t entirely know what it is. We know how to care for the ego, which typically produces selfishness.

Without ego, who is self and how do we care for he/she/they/them?

If we had more self care among us, we’d have less self-centered behavior because we would likely feel more content, calm, and generous. I think self care leads to kindness. Selfishness leads to the opposite.

I write and take pictures for self care. A few days ago a man appeared just as I took a photo of the pavement. I felt embarrassed standing in the middle of the road, trying to look casual after snapping a photo of a shape in the asphalt.

“A heart!” he said.

“Yes! You see it too?”

“Yep.” And he kept walking.

This was thrilling. It reminded me that more creativity is something I desire in 2021.

How to meet this goal? My motto: cultivate people you can be vulnerable with. We need those willing to show themselves and those willing to witness.

I was riding my bike in the rain recently and came upon a woman and her chihuahua. They moved off the path and the woman looked down at the ground. I said, “your dog is so cute!” She immediately looked up and smiled, “oh thanks, she is saving my life!”